1) Must be fair

2) Must be consistent

3) Must make correct judgements

4) Must be able to stay in control

5) Must award your team at least two penalties and give out two red cards to opposition players

Reasons to become a referee

You love football, but can't quite understand the rules

You have the strange desire to run aimlessly around in the wind, rain and snow

You love the sound of verbal abuse

You find it hard to make decisions and whenever you do your always wrong

Referee: 'Penalty!'
Home captain: 'Who for?'
Referee: 'Us!'